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Examples of concise storytelling through concrete, specific description.

The Breath He Holds

It’s the only thing Kenji Takezo does
Better than his brother Joe.
At last year’s town competition
Kenji stayed under longest
Defeating Joe
And the six-year champ
Jack Sullivan who withdrew
After taking water in
Through the nose.

The family trophy case
Now displays the Steel Lung.
Kenji’s the youngest
Ever to win it.
His parents are proud
He has such a knack,
That there is something
He can do besides surf.

To properly defend his title
This year, they purchase for him
a wooden vat,
Fix it in rich soil
To stand near the older son’s
Award-winning herb garden.
Hose water instead of wine
Fills it.

Kenji practices his technique
Back there twice a day
Before surfing and after school.
Saffron, sage, and basil
The last scents he breathes
Sinking down to sit

Cross-legged on the bottom,
A ten-pound brick in his lap,
Bubbles popping over his head,
No words inside them.
Nothing better on television
The neighbors come to watch him
Train until his skin becomes old.

From Rich Noguchi's book of poems.

From Rich Noguchi’s book of poems.


About Ms. Ruffino

Hello students, I'm very excited for the semester with hopes that this blog will keep everyone organized and on task! If you have any questions or concerns stop by my office (Faner 2238) or let me know via email.

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